


It (Won’t Be) Lonely This Christmas

by notcrypticbutcoy



Series: All I Want For Christmas Is You [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: (surprise!), Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Malec, Malec Secret Santa 2018, No Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 15:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17143940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrypticbutcoy/pseuds/notcrypticbutcoy
Summary: In which Magnus and Alec celebrate Christmas in their own way—imperfect and sentimental and together.





	It (Won’t Be) Lonely This Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just fluff. That’s it. Christmassy fluff.
> 
> Anyway! This is a secret santa gift for [Leonie](http://leetje.tumblr.com) \- Merry Christmas!!

As was so often the case, Magnus was woken by the infuriating trilling of Alec’s phone. He made a groaning sound and rolled over to face his fiancé, and received a sleepy, placating pat on the hip as Alec reached out from the warmth of their duvet cocoon to answer his phone.

Magnus didn’t pay attention to the conversation. He knew what it would be, and, much as he despised it, and much as he’d hoped it wouldn’t happen, it was okay. It was Alec’s job, his passion, and Magnus had been fully aware of that when Alec had got down on one knee six months ago.

“I’ve got to go,” Alec said, already tossing the duvet back. His back clicked when he stretched both arms above his head. His t-shirt to rode up, exposing a tantalising strip of his abs that Magnus had hoped to have time to fully appreciate that morning.

He supposed there was always time for that later.

“How long?” Magnus asked, blinking blearily up at him.

“I’m not sure. Maybe a while. Apparently someone called in sick, and they’re struggling to cope in the ER, so they want all available hands on deck.”

Magnus glared—not at Alec, but at the currently nameless person who’d so inconsiderately decided to be sick on Christmas Day. “Does that mean all day?”

“I don’t know. I’ll text you when I get there and find out what’s going on.”

“I thought on call might have meant I’d get to keep you today,” Magnus said, with a forlorn sigh. “Go save lives, my darling.”

Alec snorted, already halfway to fully clothed. “It’s probably gonna be people who’ve drunk too much with concussions. It’s Christmas.”

“Mmm.”

Pulling on his socks and nearly tripping over, Alec glanced up. “You gonna be okay, today?”

Of course he remembered. He always remembered. Ever since Magnus had first told him, so many years ago.

“Yeah.” Magnus yawned, already fantasising about going back to sleep for several more hours. “Go on, go.”

Alec frowned a little, but he didn’t question Magnus further. “I’ll see you later, then.”

“Bye. Love you.”

Alec’s expression softened. He bent over to press a kiss to Magnus’ forehead, and ran his fingers tenderly through his hair. “Love you too, babe. It’s really early, so go back to sleep, yeah?”

“Miss you,” Magnus mumbled, closing his eyes and pressing his face into a pillow. Alec’s, judging by the smell of musky aftershave and leather.

A huff of a laugh escaped Alec’s lips. “Miss you too, gorgeous.”

Another kiss was pressed to his temple, this one lingering and soft and almost enough to make Magnus yank Alec back into bed and refuse to let him go, hospitals and saving lives and doctoring be damned.

***

_“This wasn’t exactly how I thought I’d be spending my Christmas,” Magnus observed, glancing around._

_“No, me neither,” Catarina said absently from beside him, eyes fixed on her phone._

_Across from them, sat in a wheelchair with a scowl on his face, Ragnor made a rude motion with the hand that wasn’t strapped up. Magnus smiled brightly at him._

_Hospitals were far from Magnus’ favourite place. Aside from his own personal experience with them in the holiday season, they always smelt horrible: like disinfectant and sickness and death swirling into a cocktail of morbidity that Magnus found thoroughly depressing. And they were so white. Why did everything have to be white? It was almost painful to look at._

_As were the people who seemed to frequent the ER on Christmas Day. There were those like Ragnor, who’d clearly been victims of festive-themed mishaps, and there were people who’d clearly drunk far, far too much, and there were people who, perhaps worst of all, seemed to be genuinely, awfully sick on what was supposed to be the most cheerful day of the year._

_“Ragnor Fell?”_

_Magnus snickered under his breath. Fell. Ragnor Fell. Ragnor fell—right onto his ass. Ragnor’s surname had never been more appropriate._

_They wheeled Ragnor after the half-smiling nurse, down a corridor that seemed to be where the doctors had dumped all the patients who just needed to sober up, and into an office that looked significantly less dreary and clinical than the waiting room._

_A doctor in blue scrubs with a stethoscope wound around his neck and the worst case of bedhead Magnus had ever seen sat with one leg crossed beneath him on a spinning chair. He had trinkets on his desk - a photograph of him between a two youngsters who looked like they were probably related to him, a Pride flag sat in a mug with a terrible pun printed across the front, and an array of thank you cards - and a long list of questions printed across a piece of paper that he studiously ignored as he observed Ragnor being wheeled into the room with sharp eyes._

_“I’m Doctor Lightwood,” he said, zeroing in on Ragnor’s battered wrist and ankle. “Skating accident, by any chance?”_

_“However did you guess?” Ragnor asked dryly, and the doctor smiled._

_“Third one I’ve seen today,” he said, scribbling something down on a scrap of paper. “Tell me what exactly happened to bring you here.”_

_Ragnor explained - in the most boring way he possibly could, leaving out all the hilarious, embarrassing parts - about being knocked over by a child on a skating rink and tumbling to his death._

_(He failed to mention that he looked like Bambi on skates, that the child in question was approximately three feet tall, and that he’d let out an ear-splitting, high-pitched scream when he’d been barrelled into. Magnus felt a little more sympathetic about the awful crack his arm had made as he’d hit the ice, but until that point it had been fabulously entertaining.)_

_“Not a skater by trade, then?” Doctor Lightwood asked, scooting forward to examine Ragnor’s wrist._

_“No.” Ragnor shot Magnus a glare that told him, quite plainly, to keep his mouth shut._

_“I’m going to send you for an x-ray,” Doctor Lightwood said, tapping at his computer. “I’ll wheel you through.”_

_It wasn’t until the pair came back and the doctor announced that Ragnor had broken his wrist but not his ankle, and that he’d heal up in six weeks, that Magnus stopped worrying._

_“Great,” Magnus enthused. “You can’t guilt me into sparing you the pain of Love Actually, then.”_

_A laugh came from Doctor Lightwood, bright and a little startled. Magnus glanced over, grin loose on his lips, and found the doctor watching him with amusement shining in his eyes._

_They were very pretty eyes. He was very pretty in general, now that Magnus thought about it, no longer entirely distracted by concern about his friend. Mostly it was the eyes, but also the messy hair, and the sharp lines of his face, and the way he smiled, and the fact that he had really, really nice forearms._

_Magnus’ eyes strayed to the Pride flag sitting in full view on the doctor’s desk, and then back to the handsome face of the doctor himself, who averted his gaze quickly and turned back to his paperwork._

_Hm._

_Once the doctor had fitted Ragnor’s cast and given him his care instructions, and Ragnor had had a mini tirade about how stupid America was for not having free healthcare and how much he missed the NHS, Doctor Lightwood told them that they were free to go._

_“Merry Christmas,” he said, holding the door open for Catarina to wheel Ragnor out, newly acquired crutch held in Ragnor’s lap._

_“Merry Christmas,” Magnus replied, offering the doctor a smile while mourning lost opportunities. “Thank you.”_

_The doctor smiled back, and— Was that Magnus’ wishful thinking, or had the tops of his cheeks turned faintly pink?_

_“You’re very welcome.”_

_His voice had definitely dropped half an octave._

_Magnus glanced over his shoulder and Ragnor and Catarina, who were halfway down the corridor now, unaware of Magnus’ dawdling, and he hesitated in the doorway._

_“How would you diagnose a suddenly rapid heartbeat?”_

_Doctor Lightwood’s brows drew together in clear consternation. “Do you have crushing chest pain? Pressure?”_

_Magnus’ lips parted for a moment in surprise. “No, I—”_

_“Do you feel short of breath?”_

_Magnus hated doctors. Officially._

_“No, it’s—”_

_“Do you feel hot? Shaky?”_

_“Oh my god.” Magnus let out a little laugh, and covered his face in mild embarrassment. “No, no. I’m not sick. I was trying to be smooth.”_

_The doctor stared at him in sheer bewilderment. “You... What?”_

_“Will you go out with me?” Magnus asked plainly, because, clearly, bluntness was the only option._

_“Oh.” He grinned sheepishly, and Magnus hated how charming he found it. “Right. Sorry.”_

_Magnus held up a hand, palm forwards, and leant around the doctor to pick up a pen. He scrawled his number on the corner of a piece of paper, and said, “My name’s Magnus. You can ignore that this ever happened, or...” He shrugged, and smiled over at the doctor. “Or you can text me.”_

_He turned to go, half wanting to erase the last two minutes from his memory, when he heard a soft voice call his name._

_He spun around. “Yeah?”_

_“My first name is Alec.”_

_Magnus had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself grinning. “Short for Alexander?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Alexander Lightwood looked positively edible in scrubs. Which was really quite unfair, considering how fucking ugly they were as a piece of fashion._

_“I hope to hear from you soon, Alexander,” Magnus said, and, tossing him a wink that amplified the other man’s blush from a faint pink to a saturated red, continued down the corridor, leaving Alec staring after him with a slack-jawed expression._

***

They’d planned a Christmas Day that would consist of nothing more than the two of them, not wanting to run the risk of Alec being called into work while he was visiting his family or Magnus’ friends.

So, when Magnus eventually hauled himself out of bed, he was on his own in the loft. His toes curled against the cold, and he shivered as he pulled on a robe, wishing that Alec were there to warm him up. Alec always seemed to be a human furnace, even in the dead of winter.

Beneath the tree that they’d painstakingly decorated three weeks before, Magnus could see the neatly wrapped present that had his name on it. He wouldn’t open it until Alec came home - of course he wouldn’t - but he folded back the little card to read the message, just to make himself feel better.

It was probably stupid to be sad about Alec being called into work - after all, last year he’d been in the middle of leading a murder trial and had spent Christmas Day at the office, leaving Alec on his own - but he was. Sue him.

 _My beautiful Magnus,_ the card read. _Merry Christmas. May your year be filled hope and joy. All my love, your Alexander._

Magnus smiled to himself, reading it over a second and then a third time, until he’d memorised the words written in Alec’s terrible, near-illegible doctor-writing.

Alec had texted him to say that he’d be home by mid-afternoon, and, frankly, Magnus didn’t think it could come soon enough. He wanted Christmas cuddles. And possibly Christmas sex. And definitely Christmas kisses.

Also, he wanted to drink his morning coffee with Alexander sitting across from him on the other side of the island in the middle of the kitchen. He wanted to watch over the rim of his mug as Alec read the news on his phone and rolled his eyes silently at the state of the world.

**[From: Alexander <3, 11:05]**

**Deja vu. Just saw to a guy who broke his wrist ice skating.**

Magnus smiled to himself as he flicked on the coffee machine and shoved a mug beneath it, and then tapped out a response.

**[From: Magnus, 11:06]**

**I hope you’re not going to say yes to coffee with his super-hot best friend**

**[From: Alexander <3, 11:06]**

**If I do, I’m going to need to have an ethical meltdown first.**

Magnus snickered at the memory.

**[From: Alexander <3, 11:07]**

**I’ve got to go. Call if you need me. I’ll answer unless there’s an emergency. Love you x**

**[From: Magnus, 11:07]**

**I will. Love you too, darling. See you later xx**

Magnus sighed as he shut his phone off, and resigned himself to filling the hours until Alec came home and they could do the Christmas thing properly.

***

_Magnus grinned when he saw the tall, handsome, dark-haired doctor walk through the door of the café they’d agreed to have lunch at walk through the door. Unlike the last time Magnus had seen him, in the ER, he was dressed in a blue button-down and a fitted leather jacket. His hair still looked adorably hopeless, though._

_“Hey,” Magnus said, smiling brightly up at Alec as he approached the table, hands deep in his pockets._

_“Hey.” Alec returned his smile and sat down. There was something a little sheepish about his demeanour, but Magnus didn’t get the opportunity to ask, as Alec said, “I might have had an ethical meltdown about this.”_

_Magnus arched an eyebrow at him. “What on earth do you mean?”_

_Alec bit his lip. “Well. You aren’t my patient, but you are my patient’s friend, and it seemed... I don’t know. Morally grey.”_

_“So how did you decide? Couldn’t resist my charms?”_

_Alec laughed. Magnus’ insides fluttered pleasantly at having elicited that sound._

_“That,” Alec said, “and also I asked my boss what he thought.”_

_Magnus’ lips twitched. “And what did your boss say?”_

_“He laughed at me,” Alec said, ducking his head to hide a grin. “Told me to stop worrying and have fun.”_

_Magnus lifted his wine glass and tilted it towards Alec. “Sounds like good advice.”_

_Alec clinked their glasses together, still smiling that gorgeous, breath-taking smile, eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that made Magnus want to lean over and kiss them until they both ran out of air._

_“Absolutely.”_

***

The moment Magnus had fallen entirely in love with Alec was never quite clear in Magnus’ mind.

Sometimes, he’d convince himself that it had been after that first lunch, when they’d spent hours wandering aimlessly around the streets of New York, chatting about nothing and everything and all things in between, laughing and smiling and lost in the wonder of discovering someone new.

Sometimes, he’d think it was the first time he kissed Alec, on a rainy night tucked beneath a bus shelter, both wondering why they hadn’t thought to bring an umbrella with them as they shivered in the cool, wet night.

(It had been a sudden thing. Alec had leant in to kiss him abruptly, with no warning, and had pulled back almost as fast, as though it had been involuntary. They’d stared at each other for a heavy moment, eyes wide with surprise, before Magnus had hauled Alec back in and kissed him until they were both warm.)

(Warm, and breathless, and giggling like teenagers, and absolutely goddamn soaked. It had been perfect.)

Other times, he’d be more realistic. More normal. Perhaps it had been when Magnus had caught the flu, a couple of months into their budding relationship, and Alec had turned up with all his best remedies and treatments and an unending amount of kindness and sympathy—which, considering how whiny and bitchy Magnus could be when he was sick, was no mean feat.

Perhaps it had been the first time they’d had sex, when Alec had told him, so damn seriously, that Magnus was the most beautiful person he’d ever met. When Alec had touched him with a reverence akin to worship, and taken him apart piece by piece, only to put him back together with soft, caring hands.

Or perhaps it had been one of the thousands of times Alexander had surprised him like nobody else managed to. Bringing him a coffee unprompted when he was working at a weekend. Sending him sweet texts during the day. Leaving flowers on his doorstep (or, after they moved in together, on his desk) when he’d known Magnus had had a hard week. Turning up out of the blue to apologise after they’d argued, with devastating sincerity and a fierce determination to fix things.

Or, more likely, it was some combination of everything. Because even after their five years together, Magnus felt himself fall a little more in love with Alec every damn day. Even when they bickered, even when they argued until they slammed doors, and even when Magnus missed him so much it hurt.

Like now.

It wasn’t Alec’s fault. Magnus loved how much Alec loved his job. And he understood that sometimes, jobs fucked things up. His own job did often enough.

But Christmas...

Well. Much as Magnus loved Christmas, he also despised it, for everything it marked in his life.

***

_“Magnus?”_

_Magnus looked up at Alec from where he was pressed against his boyfriend’s torso. They were curled on the sofa beneath a blanket, with the end credits of some shitty Christmas rom-com he’d only half paid attention to playing across the TV screen._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Can I ask you something?”_

_Magnus’ brow furrowed in confusion. “Of course. Anything.”_

_“Why don’t you like Christmas?”_

_Magnus’ frown deepened. “I love Christmas,” he said, honestly._

_Alec exhaled. “I know you love_ Christmas _–” he waved a hand around vaguely, indicating the Christmas tree in the corner that he’d helped Magnus decorate, despite Magnus having bullied him into getting one for his own apartment the day before, and the garlands strung along the fireplace “–but you don’t like Christmas.”_

_For a moment, Magnus stared at him, eyes flickering between both of Alec’s, before he said, slowly, “You’ve lost me.”_

_Alec sighed in frustration—not at Magnus, but at himself. It was the same sound he made whenever he struggled to articulate his feelings properly._

_“You seem to love all the stuff around Christmas, and the spirit, but...” Alec shrugged. “I mean, last year you were out skating with your friends, before the impromptu ER trip, and this year, the closer we get to the actual day, the less enthusiastic you seem. Unless—” He paused, looking abruptly uncertain. “You’re not dreading spending the day with my family, are you?”_

_Fondly amused, Magnus shook his head. “No, darling. Not at all. I love your family. And you’re not wrong, exactly. You know I told you about my mom?”_

_Alec’s expression turned grave, and his eyes softened with sympathy. “I remember.”_

_“She died on Christmas Day.”_

_“Oh.” Alec took a moment to digest the information, and ran a hand up Magnus’ back absently, in a way that probably wasn’t intended to be soothing, but was, nevertheless. “God, I’m sorry.”_

_Magnus smiled faintly. “It was a long time ago. But that’s why I was out doing something last year, not sat at home celebrating. I mean, I do celebrate, but I try to be occupied. My mom loved Christmas, so it’s... I don’t know.”_

_“Melancholy?” Alec suggested._

_“Exactly.”_

_They were quiet for a moment. The fire crackled behind the grate, heat emanating out to combat the chill of winter. Magnus tipped his head back and relaxed with his back pressed to Alec’s front, his hips comfortably bracketed by Alec’s knees. Fingers came up to play with his hair, tugging and teasing and stroking. He exhaled, letting his eyes fall shut._

_“I love you.”_

_Alec murmured the words right against his ear, as though it was a secret, and Magnus smiled._

_“I love you too.”_

_“Do you visit her? At Christmas?”_

_Magnus hummed. “She wasn’t actually buried. She wanted to donate her body to medical science. At the time, I was too young to be able to buy a memorial or anything, but I bought a plaque about five years ago, to go on the park bench we used to sit on when she’d take me for ice cream in the summer. And I don’t usually go visit it at Christmas, no.”_

_Alec’s fingertips rubbed gently at his scalp. “Can I ask why not?”_

_“Because I’d just cry and remember the end, when she was sick, and I want to remember all the other times. When she was healthy, and happy. It’s easy to remember that at other times of year, but on Christmas Day...” He shrugged. “It always makes me think of her in hospital.”_

_There was a pause, and, even facing away from him, Magnus could practically hear Alec thinking._

_“Do you want to go now?”_

_Magnus turned his head to look at him in surprise. “Now? Right now?”_

_“If you want to.” Alec studied him carefully. “It’s not Christmas yet. It might... I don’t know. Make you feel better on the day, if you visit now.”_

_“I’ve never thought of that.” Magnus sat up a little. “I suppose it’s not going to hurt.”_

_Something flickered in Alec’s eyes, something Magnus couldn’t quite put his finger on. He followed Magnus into an upright position and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his lips._

_“Now?” Alec asked, pulling back just far enough to meet Magnus’ gaze._

_Magnus nodded, and kissed him again. “Now.”_

***

Snow was falling by the time Alec came home.

Magnus ceased his tapping at his keyboard (if Alec was out at work on Christmas Day, what was to stop Magnus getting a head start on a few things?) and turned from his spot on the sofa to look over at his fiancé coming through the door. A clatter sounded as Alec dropped his keys onto the sideboard. He lined his boots up neatly beside Magnus’ on the mat, hung his coat up, and dragged his fingers through his hair, which was steadily dampening with the melting of the snow that had collected among the strands—because, of course, Alec didn’t even remember to take a hat, let alone an umbrella.

“Hey, love,” Alec said, walking towards Magnus to drop a kiss on his lips. “How was your day?”

“Fine,” Magnus said, curling a hand around Alec’s neck to stop him withdrawing too far, so he could kiss him again. “I caught up on some work and reminisced looking at old photos of baby us.”

Alec arched an eyebrow. “Baby us?”

“Mmhm. Back when we first met. I found that photo we took right before we got caught by the rain and you kissed me for the first time.”

“Oh god.” Alec laughed a little. Magnus picked his things up off the sofa and transferred them onto the coffee table so that Alec could sit down. “That one where you look gorgeous and I look like some kind of mutant?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “You do not.”

“You’re just saying that so I don’t make you delete it.”

Magnus shrugged, and leant in to kiss Alec’s cheek. “Prove it, my beautiful nearly-husband.”

Alec pulled back to fix Magnus with a look caught halfway between mystified and highly entertained. “What did you just call me?”

“Nearly-husband.” Magnus reached down for Alec’s left hand, and lifted it to press a kiss to his knuckles, right beside his engagement ring. “Because that’s what you are.”

Alec’s lips quirked upwards. “I think the word you’re looking for is _fiancé_ , babe.”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “I want to emphasise the husband bit.”

Alec laughed, and lifted his free hand to brush a thumb against Magnus’ cheek. “You’re so cute.”

“My biceps say otherwise.”

“You can be cute and sexy as fuck at the same time,” Alec said, and kissed him warmly. He stayed close, nose brushing against Magnus’ and fingertips skating against his face, as he murmured, “God, I love my job, but I’m so glad to be home.”

“I’m glad you’re home, too,” Magnus said, voice low. “I was running out of things to do to distract myself.”

He knew that Alec would understand exactly what he meant. What Magnus needed distracting from. But he didn’t bring it up, didn’t push; he trusted that Magnus would say something if he wanted to talk about it.

“Well.” Lips caressed the shell of his ear as Alec spoke, breaths warm enough to make Magnus shiver. “I’m sure–” Alec dropped down, mouth grazing against the sensitive skin of his neck “–I can find a way–” he nipped at the hollow above Magnus’ collarbone, and Magnus’ eyes fluttered closed “–to distract you sufficiently.”

“I’m sure you can,” Magnus said breathlessly, one hand coming up to tangle in Alec’s hair. “But there’s a problem.”

Alec pulled back to look up at him, eyes dark with desire. “Oh?”

“I haven’t had lunch yet.”

Alec rolled his eyes, and let out a reluctant laugh. “Of course you haven’t. It’s only three o’clock in the afternoon. Why would you have had lunch?”

Magnus swatted playfully at his shoulder. “Shut up.”

Alec sighed in an exaggerated manner, and stood up, offering his hand to Magnus. “Well, then, lunch first. Then maybe presents. Then I’ll get back to wooing you.”

“Oh, darling.” Magnus smiled cheekily as he leant into Alec, one hand resting on his abdomen. “You did that a long, long time ago.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought (in the comments, or I’m on [Tumblr](http://notcrypticbutcoy.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lucysrebelheart?lang=en) )
> 
> Merry Christmas, happy holidays!
> 
> Lu <3


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